If you are new to this series, please read the first post here.
I’ve finally decided to get it out there. This way others can hear my story and maybe you can better understand me and where I’m coming from. Little did I know it then, but this is where my frugality began. Rather unwillingly.
I packed it all in A Note.
I thought I was going to be able to flee any form of confrontation, atleast until the morning. My parents would have time to think on it, to sleep on it..and it would all be okay.
After school was out, I went to my boyfriend’s apartment to tell him the news was out. They knew. He graduated 2 years before me in 1998 and lived with a friend close to my work place. I would have enough time to fly by and let him know I finally told my parents I was pregnant.
I couldn’t stay long, because I had to be at work. I remember being very emotional–so I wanted to get there even earlier than normal to debrief, so to say. To get to my workplace, all I had to do was drive up an alley-like-thing and I was in the parking lot. Easy as pie.
Until I seen my mom’s truck.
I rememeber nothing at all from our conversation, other than tears. Lots of them. And disappointment. A few days later my mom told me that if she was me, she would have written a note, too. While it did make me feel a little better about choosing the Note, I still felt like I took the chicken way out.
I graduated a few weeks later, 4 ½ months along, with a College Prepatory Certificate that basically did me no good. As I walked across the stage, my secret was still safe. No one knew.
After graduation, I moved into a house my parents owned directly in front of theirs. I shopped at yard sales* all summer to furnish my new home and to buy things for the coming baby. Since school was now out, I changed my shift to the morning crew (4:30-1) and I became the “biscuit lady”. I absolutely loved it, although I still knew that that wasn’t what I wanted for the rest of my life. Other than frying french fries and making cheeseburgers, this was the only cooking I had ever done before on a regular basis. Looking back, this was the foundation of my confidence in the kitchen.
After working this shift for a few months, I began to feel very, very tired. By the end of the work day I was so swollen, that my ankles would literally be conformed to the top of my shoes. In the mornings, my face would be so swollen and puffy I could barely recognize myself. It was starting to be very painful for me to stand. I thought it was all because I was young and this was my body’s way of handling things.
By this time it was August, I had turned 18 and was almost 7 months along in my pregnancy. I went to a routine doctor’s visit and he began to notice my swelling. He thought it wasn’t anything that a few days of bed rest couldn’t fix. I took the next few days off work, and literally stayed on the couch all day long for 2-3 days straight (I can’t remember the exact amount). I went to work the next morning, and had a follow up appointment right after I got off work.
As I was getting ready in my bathroom that morning, I had no idea. While I was in my car, driving to work, I had no idea. As I worked, I was still clueless.
Those moments would be the last time I did those things, until Mid-September.
*Before finding out I was pregnant, I thought I was “too good” for yard sales. As a matter of fact, I had the attitude of “I’m too good for Wal-Mart, or anything that isn’t name brand and brand new.” Thankfully, I’m far from that mentality now! A great reminder to myself that I will not allow my children to have that same mentality. *
Please bear with me on the next few installments, as those are the most painful.