Accepting Survival Mode

by GettingFreedom on March 16, 2011

As women, we’re people pleasers.  As wives and mothers, we want to have it all together.  We have expectations for ourselves, and most of the time we can’t even attain it.

Some time ago, I was able to give up on the thought that I could do it all, all the time.  That didn’t stop me from dreaming of the day that I possibly could, though! Instead I had narrowed down what I was able to do on a regular basis.  Those things included: making my own cleaners, making most of our foods/meals from scratch using frugal recipes, gardening and canning what I could.

Survival Shelter

{Photo Source}

But, our world went crazy 9 months ago.  There’s not enough space to include everything that happened–but here’s the short version:

  • May: Vacation to Florida end of the month.  Van breaks down in Mississippi on the way home.  Rented Vehicle for drive back. {there’s SO much more to this mess!}
  • June: Home for roughly a week, and go into {very} unexpected labor with Blake at 2am.  Come to find out, my placenta abrupted.  Blake is in the NICU for 18 days, while our big kids stay with family part of the time, we’re in the City at the Ronald McDonald House.
  • July: Project Major Home Addition began April 12th, and was supposed to be finished no later than August.  Except, our rooms are barely framed in, the roof is on, and the siding is going up.  Very.Little.Progress.  Stress, Stress, and more Stress.
  • August: Grandmother passes away from Cancer.  We realize PMHA is not progressing as it should and we fire contractor.  Contractor takes us for thousands of dollars.  Father-in-Law steps in as new contractor, and we finally begin to see progress on the inside of the home. Oh, and school starts, as well as soccer!
  • September: We move out into the garage because our home is gutted, thinking it’ll only be until beginning of October. More soccer.
  • October: Continued work on the house, still no kitchen, and chaos is in full swing.  I’m the employee, the mother, the wife, and the maniac. :) Trying to keep normalcy for school and soccer.
  • November: We’re back into the house, but everything isn’t done yet.  Finally get a stove/oven by the end of the month.  Let’s throw in Thanksgiving, thankfully not at our home.
  • December: Right before Christmas, find out my mom has swelling and bleeding on the brain–she spends Christmas in the hospital.
  • January: Mid month, Mom has brain surgery to remove a tumor.  Find out it is indeed Stage 4 cancer, and it’s spread to her brain from her lung.
  • February: Mom develops an infection in her brain, and they preform another surgery to remove it, and part of her skull.  Rigorous chemo/radiation schedule begins at the end of the month and continues…..

During those times I had to accept Survival Mode.  I had to take a step back, and look at what was really important, and what absolutely had to be done. It wasn’t easy giving up on my day to day tasks.  I no longer needed my Home Management Binder because there was no time,  no home, and no schedule.  I couldn’t make meals without a kitchen, let alone make them from scratch.  Although, I was getting pretty good at using a microwave! {You have to read the post linked, if you haven’t already, to find the amount of humor in that statement!} Instead, our dinners were spent boosting the local economy.

When life gets crazy, step back and realize that it’s just a short season of your whole life.  You have the rest of your days to perfect your cleaning and cooking schedules and dreams.  During these times of upheaval your family needs you, not your bread and natural cleaners.

Accept Survival Mode.

Your family will thank you.  And in the end, you’ll be happy you did!

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{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }

hiptobeme March 16, 2011 at 10:00 am

This is exactly what I need to hear right now! I am in survival mode to try and get my family knit back together after a death in the family.My husband is working more which leaves me in the position of staying home and working less so that I can accomadate the meal prep and activity schedule. I feel like home is where I need to be, even with financial pressures. It won’t always be like this, I hope!! Great post, thanks!!


Kristy @ Almost On Purpose March 16, 2011 at 1:34 pm

I think it takes strength to be in Survival Mode, and you are carrying your family beautifully. You and your family are in my prayers!


Amy @ Finer Things March 16, 2011 at 3:44 pm

Oh my goodness. I kind of wrote a post like this last night… but I don’t have the drama to back it up! You inspire me that you’re surviving at all…


SnoWhite @ Finding Joy in My Kitchen March 16, 2011 at 5:41 pm

Praying for you, Phoebe, and your family. What you’ve said is so true — your family needs you. Praying for your strength to continue to be there for your family, and for people to also be there for you.


Maria Scott March 16, 2011 at 9:05 pm

Wow, what a 9 months you have had. Sending hugs and prayers your way for you and your family.


Stacey March 17, 2011 at 6:49 am

All I can say is wow….you have really been through it! And what an awesome testimony that you have stayed positive! Just said a prayer for you and your family.


Mandy March 17, 2011 at 8:34 am

Although our circumstances are VERY different, I can totally identify with this post! I think we have just packed up and moved in to survival mode over this past year! While I am beyond ready for some sense of normalcy again, I have learned to accept that this is just where we are for now, and we all work to make the best of it! Prayers for you and yours!!


Marci@OvercomingBusy March 18, 2011 at 12:02 pm

” During these times of upheaval your family needs you, not your bread and natural cleaners.” AMEN!!


Kate M March 19, 2011 at 8:07 am

Wow, thank you for sharing “real life” and how so often OUR plans get shoved out of the way and on to Plan B. God always has things up His sleeve to teach us and grow us. It sounds like you’ve had some real challenging growth opportunities lately and I appreciate your willingness to share them so we can all learn as well.


Tiffany March 19, 2011 at 6:48 pm

Oh my goodness, you have been through so much. Your family will be in my prayers. There’s a season for everything – microwave season and no microwave seasons included.


Miriam March 21, 2011 at 11:35 am

What a great post! Thankfully we haven’t experienced a need to go into survival mode… well, we probably WERE in survival mode after S was born, LOL! I hope I never have to experience survival mode on the scale that you did, but if I ever do… help me remember that it’s ok, ok?


Becky March 23, 2011 at 10:29 pm

Thanks for this post. We’ve been in survival mode since October here. Embracing the season!


Steph @ Problem Solvin Mom April 20, 2011 at 7:19 pm

Love this post! I am so there right now, and daily trying to remind myself not to wish my life away thinking about the light at the end of the tunnel. I am so sorry to hear about all the things I didn’t know were going on with your family – I will be praying for you.



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