It’s hard to believe that as I cuddle with my 6 week old baby, tomorrow (Friday, July 16th) would have been the day he was set to be born.
If I was in control.
If I was in control, Blake would have been born at 39 weeks gestation, not 33 weeks.
If I was in control, we never would have spent 18 days in the NICU away from our other 3 kids.
If I was in control, I would have been able to come home a few short days after delivery and slept in my own bed in my own {finished} house.
But, I’m not in control. And frankly, I like it that way.
The night before Blake’s emergency arrival, my husband and I sat in the living room of some friends of ours and had a Bible Study. Of all things the topic was: God Is In Control. While as a Christian, I’ve always known this, I’ve also always had a really hard time turning it all over to Him and letting Him be in control.
Four hours after arriving home from our Bible Study I found myself waiting for the ambulance to arrive at my home and take me to the hospital in the Big Town. I prayed continuously for God to allow me to deliver a healthy baby, and for me to also remain healthy through it all. I had no idea what the outcome would be, but I did know that there was a reason behind it all.
We’ve learned so many things through this little journey. I couldn’t possibly write them all here but in short we found out first hand that through everything God really is in Control. There is a reason behind everything, you just have to find it.
Not only that, but we also realized that we have the best family, church family and friends a person could ever ask for! We’ve been blessed abundantly, and Blake’s birth really brought that to light. We’ve lived in our small town for almost 7 years, and have always felt a little on the outside of things here. I can now say that we no longer feel this way. We have many great friends here that would do anything and everything they can for someone. We are blessed far beyond what any words could ever express.
He is in control and although Blake was born 7 weeks early, he was a pretty healthy little guy.
He is in control, and while we were away from our other 3 kids they had an awesome time with their Granny, Pa-Pa, Aunt and Cousins.
He is in control, and introduced us to an awesome charity that will forever hold a place in our hearts.
He is in control, and I will forever serve Him and call Him Lord and the King of Kings.
A little sidenote: In our Bible Study we also discussed how God referred to himself as “I Am” when speaking to Moses in the desert. Although we’ve studied this as a group before, we found ourselves discussing it again, at length. One night, after Blake had a roller coaster day, and our emotions were all over the place, my husband went to the NICU for one of our “touch times”. As he stood over Blake’s bed, he looked up, just as he had many times before and something caught his eye: Blake WillIAM.
God Is In Control. And that is a Finer Thing.
Oh, and for our house, yeah–it’s still not done. 
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Oh, Phoebe…I love everything about this!!!
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I second Angie on this!
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So true. I’m sure we miss out on so much by trying to control things ourselves. God is in control, all the time.
Wonderfully written!
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I’m so glad He is in control. You are very blessed. And Blake is amazing.
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Sometimes we get hard reminders about control! Your little Blake looks wonderful! I hope you all continue to be blessed as a family!
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Phoebe, this is so beautifully written! Thank you for sharing it and reminding me again Who is I AM. Not that I forget…. but you know how it is… kinda like you KNOW the sky is blue, but usually only when it’s rainy for a long time do you start to think “wow, I really miss that BLUE sky!”
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Happy to see you and baby and family doing well! Glad to see you back!
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What a beautiful blessing! Blake is an adorable little guy.Thank you for sharing your heart.I love the I AM in William………Dena
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Congratulations on your beautiful, healthy son! A lovely post, thank you. I’m visiting with tidymom, and I’d love to have you visit me too.
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I can’t believe it’s already been 6 weeks!
So well written, Phoebe. And a great reminder for all of us!
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BTW, I just left you a bloggy award
http://mycountrycupboard.blogspot.com/2010/07/blog-award.html
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It just seems like yesterday when the call on twitter was out there to pray for ya’ll!!! God is sooo in control. What a great reminder. And, Blake couldn’t be more perfect so that is just another testimony to the fact that God does all things good…in His time!
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Our 4th child was also born 6 weeks early, but, thankfully, was perfectly healthy. I was the problem!
But I so enjoyed being reminded of this – that God is in control, AND that it’s good for us that He is.
Love, Anne x
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Phoebe..love everything about this!!! When I was having some issues dealing with things a few years ago…I did a lot of praying and knew he was in control. Whenever I get frustrated and things look bad I just say to myself God is in control! I cant believe how much that helped me changed from the person I was to the person I am now!!! You and Willie are wonderful parents!! KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK!
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Oh that is so true. Something that I Need to remind myself of often.
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He is just a beautiful baby. And yes, God is in control and it is good. Even when it is so very painful for us.
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ha! you and I have been learning some of the same lessons, I see! Blake is gorgeous, and I’m so glad to see that he’s healthy and doing well!
You have learned another lesson though—God is in control of everything but laundry—heehee
xoxo
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GettingFreedom Reply:
July 19th, 2010 at 4:39 pm
@Michelle–
LOL! Dangit!
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