The Beginning: More Trials

If you are new to this series, please catch up here.



I was a mom now, but had yet to see my new baby. I had no idea what he looked like. My mom and dad had already seen him, and so did all of my friends. Although it was only through a window, it still stung. It was heartbreaking. The next morning, my nurse finally delivered me a picture of my baby. I held it tightly and looked at it often.

I can't remember exactly when I was able to go see Nicholas--but I was more than ready. I was still pretty sick, and since I hadn't actually been on my feet for any length of time in many, many weeks, I had to be wheeled down to the NICU. My mom wheeled me down the long hallway, and finally I seen the wall full of windows--blinds drawn. We picked up the phone and asked if we were able to come in.

Upon entering the double doors we were instructed to "scrub up" and place on a sterile hair net, boot covers and gowns. It looked like we were preparing for surgery. I was wheeled over to Nicholas and I stood up to admire his beauty. I stroked him lightly, that was all I could do.

This was my baby. He was so very beautiful. It was a miracle he was even alive. There were so many machines hooked to him, so many monitors.

Then I heard it...

Beeping. Scary beeping. And lots of it. The nurses swarmed his bedside. In the middle of all this I became very dizzy. I held on to the side of his "bed" and tried to pretend I was okay, although I was not. I wanted to be there for my baby. I wanted to admire his beauty and for him to know I was there. I was his mom and I loved him.

My ghost white face told my mom and the nurses that I was not okay. They made me sit down and I was told I had to leave. Seeing Nicholas in that state was apparently too much for me, and I had came this close to passing out. My touch, to Nicholas's sensitive body got him excited and he forgot to breathe.

His beeping got me excited and I forgot to breathe.

I remained in the hospital for about 1½ weeks after Nicholas was born. I went to see him everytime they allowed me. Even through all the complications we both had, I was adament on breast feeding him. I pumped in my hospital room, and would take my milk down to the NICU in hope Nicholas would soon be able to enjoy it.

Nicholas was starting to do really well, and I was able to hold him and feed him with a bottle (even though it was my breast milk). I loved our time together.

Then I was discharged. Although I was elated to finally be out of the hospital, my baby was still there. I came home to a fully furnished nursery, with no baby to enjoy it. I caught a ride to the city as much as I could (with C-Sections you are unable to drive for 3 weeks) just so I could spend a few hours with him.

Then the day came that he was finally able to come home with me. He was fully mine!

Nicholas did really well at home. I was producing more than he could eat, and I still had a freezer full of milk from his days in the NICU. He began sleeping through the night pretty early on and was a pretty happy baby.

In late December he became violently ill. Nicholas was unable to keep anything down..at all. No breast milk, or diluted pedialyte. We were at the doctor constantly over about a 2 week period, but they were unable to find out what was wrong. He got to where he was able to keep down very small amounts of healvily diluted pedialyte, so we slowly began to up his feedings and dosage. Nicholas was on his way back to being himself. Or so we thought.

During a routine doctor's visit sometime in January, the doctor noticed something my mom and I had commented on numerous times before. His head was growing at a faster rate than the rest of his body. Everyone had just chocked it up to him being premature, and that the rest of his body would catch up later. After comparing the growth of his head to months past, the doctor ordered an immediate ultrasound on his head to make sure everything was okay.

The results came back, and I was informed that everything was not okay. We were immediately referred to a NeuroSurgeon in the city.

I was 18 and my baby was 4 months.

I was terrified, to say the least.

Grind Your Own Cornmeal

During the winter months we end up using a fair amount of cornmeal. We love Buttery Homeamde Cornbread served with piping hot soups. Like most families, soups are a plenty when the cold weather hits. Cornmeal is also a must for giggin' season. My husband makes his own fish breading, and cornmeal is the main ingredient. With cornmeal being in high demand, there are plenty of times I would go to grab some out of the cabinet and I wouldn't have quite the amount I needed.

The Cornmeal Shortage is over.

Since deciding last year to not replace our broken microwave, we've kept regular popcorn on hand for our weekly Pizza/Popcorn/Movie night. You know, the kind that has to be popped on the stove? :) Did you know the same stuff you "pop" and slather in butter can be ground into cornmeal?

How handy!

Storing large amounts of popcorn kernels is a lot easier than trying to keep cornmeal fresh and bug free. Now when we need cornmeal for a recipe, I grab the popcorn and grind my own cornmeal. You can do yellow cornmeal, or even white; depending on the type of popcorn you have. I use my NutriMill, which is the same thing I use for grinding my spelt wheat. I buy the popcorn kernels in bulk from the discount grocer, which makes my savings even greater.

You can't beat the savings or the freshness!

This post is part of Frugal Friday.

Creamy Mashed Potatoes

Mashed potatoes aren't something that I make on a regular basis, but they are requested every year for our Thanksgiving get together. Even when we travel the 8 hours to Iowa. They are that good.

I really have no secret tips, or measurements for that matter. I usually add a little bit of this ingredient and a little bit of that one. Thankfully this dish is forgiving, and there is no need to be precise. I will attempt to guess measurements in order to make it a little easier for those who have to have them. :)




Peel and boil your potoates like you would usually do. Drain off the water and add about 2 Tbsp butter to the hot pan. Add back in the potatoes.

To this, add about 2-4 oz of cream cheese and a healthy dollop of sour cream. Using your hand mixer, beat until it starts to combine. Add about 2 tsp pepper, and a teaspoon or so of seasoned salt.

If your mixture is dry, which mine usually is, add in Evaporated Milk, or additional cream cheese. These 2 ingredients are what makes them Creamy Mashed Potatoes, versus the potatoes your mom makes. If you prefer to have more of a creamy texture, add more milk. If your family prefers a thicker texture, use less milk. Continue to mix with hand mixer and add until you get the consistency of mashed potato you were going for.

A great last minute addition is parsley or chives. Sprinkle just a bit on top after you have mixed in the other ingredients. Stir just to combine.

What is your Favorite Holiday Dish?? Be sure to share over at Tasty Eats at Home as part of the Holiday Food Fest and enter to win a super cute apron!

This post is also linked to Happy Housewife's Talking Turkey for a Turkey post where you can enter to win a turkey for sharing your Thanksgiving stories, recipes, or traditions.

Shopping Discount Grocers

I've gotten out of posting my bi-weekly shopping trips basically due to the time involved in getting them posted. This week, however was one I felt was definitely worthy of showing off.

A few towns over is a discount grocery store, which is where I also buy my bulk goods. I try to get a lot of my produce there, as well as my spices and other baking essentials. This particular store is not a chain, and it carries mostly overstock and some expired foods. This is where you have to be careful and keep your eyes open.

I'm a very picky shopper, which I feel comes from my limited budget. I want to know what I am getting is the best deal around and something that I'm not going to regret buying later. A box that isn't perfect isn't going to bother me. However, lunch meat that is a month (or two) past date is not worth the price cut-unless I choose to feed it to my dog. Some things that I will buy past their date include cereal, granola bars, cream cheese, and frozen goods.

Yesterday this is what I picked up:

My table is so full, it is hard to see everything. I spent a total of about $90 for everything you see, and some things that are buried. Here are the highlights:

(6) Philadelphia Cream Cheese @ .50/ea

(4) Frozen Containers Strawberry Slices @ .75/ea

(4) Mexican Vanilla @ .50/ea

(6) Organic Vegetable/Marinara Pasta Dinners @ .49/ea (These are perfect for my 4yo's lunches)

(2) Nutella @ $1.29/ea (Yesterday was the first time I've ever tried Nutella--I can't believe I waited so long. So good!)

(4) Trail Mix @ .99/ea

(2) Aluminum Free Baking Powder @ .75/ea

Cornstarch .49

(5) Diced Ham @ .75/ea

Whole Fryer Chicken @ $2.50

Red Pears 4 for .19 cents!! (Using these for another Pear Oven Pancake. Yum!)

I went to the local grocer after this trip and got a few things I wasn't able to get from the discount store. As you can see from the picture, I didn't pick up much and I still spent $42!! Yikes!

Don't forget about those discount grocery stores, they can bring big savings!

This post is linked to Works For Me Wendesday.

Buttery Homemade Cornbread

Last week I volunteered to make dinner for our church's Wednesday Family Night. I love being able to cook for other people. Considering the amount of food I needed to make, I really wanted to keep it simple. So I decided upon Ham and Beans, Cornbread and Salad.

Before I left to take my 4 year old to school I realized that it would probably be easier if I went ahead and made a few batches of cornbread. I had no idea how many pans the church kitchen would have, and I was unsure how much cornbread I would actually need. I sent a distress call to my Twitter friends and asked how many pieces of cornbread I could get out of 9x13 pan. It was pretty unanimous that it would yield no more than 15 pieces. Until I mentioned how many people I needed it to feed--about 150!

We came to the consensus, that I would have to squeak at least 24 pieces out of a pan in order to keep my sanity. However, while speaking to a church friend, she assured me that I would need 10 pans. I seen Jiffy Mix in my near future at this point. That is, until I investigated the matter further. It is nothing more than the dry ingredients (guess that should be obvious. ;) ), and makes probably half of my recipe. In the end, it would end up costing me more, taking more time, and the flavor would have been nothing like my homemade goodness.

I pressed on, making a total of (5) 9x13 pans of cornbread, of which only 2 ½ were eaten. So very glad I didn't go with 10!

Buttery Cornbread

2 eggs; beaten

1 ¼ cups milk

¼ c butter; softened

1 ½ c cornmeal

3/4 cup unbleached flour

2 Tbsp sugar

2 ¼ tsp baking powder

1 tsp salt

Combine all of the dry ingredients.

Mix together the softened butter and eggs. Stir in the milk. Add the dry ingredients to the egg/butter mixture.

Pour into a buttered 8x8 pan. Bake at 400° for 20-25 minutes or until golden. If you prefer Cornbread Muffins, you can pour the batter into lined or greased muffin cups. It's been a while since I've went that route, but I would guess it would yield roughly 8 muffins.

It has a nice buttery flavor, and of course is best when served piping hot with a dab more butter. Definitely NOT margarine!

This post is linked to:

• Tempt My Tummy Tuesday
• Tasty Tuesday
• Cupcake Tuesday

Menu Plan Week of November 8th-14th

So far our calendar for this week is empty--I can't believe it!

Sunday:

• Breakfast:Cereal
• Dinner: Quick Omelettes. ($2)
  

Monday:

• Breakfast: Oatmeal with Apple Butter.
• Dinner: Twice Backed Taco Cups.($1.75) HM Refried Beans.(.50)) Salad.(.50)($2.75)(8 servings=.34/ea)

Tuesday:

• Breakfast: Breakfast Burritos
• Dinner: Egg Roll Stir Fry.($2.50) HM Wontons ($1.75)($4.25)(8 servings=.85/ea)

Wednesday:

• Breakfast: Steel Cut Oats w/bananas
• Dinner: Meatloaf($3.25) Scallopped Potatoes. ($1) Green Beans (Free from garden)($4.25)(8 servings=.53/ea)

Thursday:

• Breakfast: Boiled Eggs (no yolks)
• Dinner: Ham Bonaparte ($4.50) Steamed Veggies ($1) Brown Rice (.25) ($5.75)(10 servings=.57/ea)

Friday: Pizza/Movie Night

• Breakfast: Smoothies.
• Dinner: Veggie Lovers. Ham/Cheese Strombolli. ($7)(10 servings=.70/ea)
  

Saturday:

• Breakfast: Breakfast Casserole
• Dinner: Leftovers.

Snacks:

• Granola
• Pumpkin Whoopie Pies
• PB & J Muffins

Total Cost: $26 Average Price Per Serving: .53/ea

This post is linked to Menu Plan Monday.

Holiday Food Fest

**My sincerest apologies for the last notice on this wonderful Food Fest. In the craziness that was last week, I failed to get this post posted. However, it isn't too late to join in on the 1st day over at Hoosier Homemade with your Favorite Fall Dessert.**

Join us as we celebrate the holiday season by sharing your favorite recipes at our Bloggy Holiday Food Fest. We want to see your favorite dishes of the holiday season. So if you celebrate Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Christmas, Thanksgiving, or any other holiday please linkup or stop by.

This is a celebration of good food and friends – regardless of how you cook you are invited to join in the fun. Good home cooking, gluten-free, sugar-free, raw, organic, frugal - everyone is welcome to participate.

There will be a fantastic give-away each week too, including fun aprons and great kitchen gadgets. To enter, you can link up, leave a comment, tweet, or link back. We'll be tweeting about Holiday Food Fest, too so make sure to follow us.

Thanksgiving Fall Desserts – November 5th

Stop by and see Liz at Hoosier Homemade for the best of the blogosphere’s fall desserts. Share what you’re going to make this Thanksgiving or what you’ve been making already since the leaves have started to change and you’ve pulled out your fall sweaters. Follow Liz on Twitter @HoosierHomemade.

Thanksgiving & Fall Dishes – Thursday, November 12

We know you have your favorite tried and true Thanksgiving or fall dish that your family and friends just can’t live without. Share it with us at Tasty Eats at Home,hosted by Alta.You can follow Alta on Twitter @TastyEatsAtHome.

Gifts of Good Taste – Thursday, November 19

The best part of cooking is sharing it with others. How are you going to give your edible gifts this holiday season? We can’t wait to see your favorite gifts of good taste and how you wrap them up. Phoebe at Cents to Get Debt Free is our gracious hostess. Follow Phoebe on Twitter @GettingFreedom.

Holiday Cocktails, Mocktails & Appetizers – Thursday, December 3

What are you serving your holiday guests while they’re anxiously anticipating the main course? Hosted by Amy at Simply Sugar & Gluten Free. Find Amy on Twitter @Amys_SSGF.

Holiday Dishes – Thursday, December 10

Join Shirley at Gluten-Free Easily as we share our favorite holiday dishes with each other. Anything goes – sides, main dishes, soups. Follow Shirley on Twitter @ShirleyGFE.

Holiday Desserts – Thursday, December 17

Jessica, a.k.a. Fishmama, is hosting the final day of Holiday Food Fest 2009 at Life As Mom. Bring your favorite holiday dessert for everyone to enjoy. Follow Jessica on Twitter @FishMama.